I Assaulted Mom Because Costco Pepsi Machine Made Me Do It

A 33-year-old Pennsylvania man has been charged with with aggravated assault, simple assault and harassment after allegedly assaulting his 68-year-old mom. The reason: The Pepsi machine at their local Costco made him do it.
According to police reports, the man's father contacted authorities because his son was "flipping out" and attacking his mother.
The father told police that his son had said "that the Pepsi machine at Costco made him hurt his mother," and that "he was mad at his mother because she smokes drugs."
No word from Pepsi on whether these new mind-controlling Pepsi machines are going to be rolled-out nationwide or if this is going to be a Costco exclusive.